A life coloured

I wondered if I had ever regretted entering debate.

The intention of overturning someone’s perception of being asinine and utterly incompetent took me to the interview. And it was an interview I passed miraculously. It must have all been planned.

Did I dislike it? It was tough, and being barely equipped with a moderate level of self-image and confidence led on to a sense of resent. A thought of leaving came to mind, but looking back, staying was certainly the wiser choice.

It became a passion that took me on a ride into a garden of thorns. Challenges came like a swarm of locusts over a paddy field and leeched my passion dry. And I wondered what good staying in debate could possibly have done. 

But something told me to hold on, that there are better things along the road.

Meeting people was one. I soon came to realize that the debaters weren’t merely as they were to me. Had they not been around I might have carried on with my then-wondrous plan. Credits must be given whenever it’s due.

The enthusiasm towards debate grew, and had I not stayed life wouldn’t have been how it is now. I couldn’t have grown closer towards Kimberly and became such good friends whom I’d go to an extent to keep. I couldn’t have learned so much that made me muster up courage to save the family. I couldn’t have met Zhai Gen. I couldn’t have met such a special friend I’d never want to lose. I couldn’t have met God. I couldn’t have met everyone in church. I couldn’t have had the chance to inspire. I couldn’t have had the chance to love. I couldn’t have adopted the way of thinking I have now. I couldn’t have been who I am now. I couldn’t have had what I have now.

I couldn’t have had the chance to be who I am now. And I know this was all planned.

I’ve met many people through debate. And I’ve changed. And I don’t regret a bit joining debate. So this passion wasn’t so bad after all. I will stay in debate, even when my passion turns into a field of drought. Why? I’m just that asinine. And I don’t care. I’m just so stubborn, ha. :)

And no matter how much I hate life, no matter how bleak things can seem, no matter how bad my life had turned out to be, God always has ways to paint all the colours back and turn my life into how it is with just a graceful swoosh of His magical paintbrush. A life I couldn't have ever imagined. And He will continue to amaze all of us. God is the best potter and the best artist. Forgive me; and thank you, God.