The prayer I wrote to God on the paper was answered just a week after 7 months ago. Was God hinting that He wishes me to help the ones in need back then?
Pushed to a mental fork-road of having to choose either myself or guiding and protecting people, the relentlessness to help won over. Is this to train selflessness? Perhaps.
I know it's His plan. The glimmers of blinding light that shines through when the darkness starts to cave in like a suddenly-overturned bucket of water; it never just happened once. He who swoops down as I near the limit. I'm forever grateful.
A further course of refining. I'll obediently take up all the challenges. I'll help. Even to the extent of being broken and mended again. I'll do whatever it takes.
My love for people.
Thank you, Carol.
Saturday, 26 January 2013
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Be mechanical
Establishing a connection or a relationship of any kind to any degree with something alive anchors you to the earth for it denotes that you're mentally, emotionally and spiritually in a location. Caring for people, animals, or even yourself.
Then where are you when you have disestablished them?
You float.
Firstly it seems like it's selfishness, then you realize it's indifference. I ran out of tokens.
God's the driver in my life. I've noticed the several arcs of dull pain, stretching over a period of years. And arcs do come back-to-back. The characteristics of my life, I'd say.
Nothing I choose to feel will make any difference. Nothing I do nor anything I say will either.
So I came up with a choice.
Then where are you when you have disestablished them?
You float.
Firstly it seems like it's selfishness, then you realize it's indifference. I ran out of tokens.
God's the driver in my life. I've noticed the several arcs of dull pain, stretching over a period of years. And arcs do come back-to-back. The characteristics of my life, I'd say.
Nothing I choose to feel will make any difference. Nothing I do nor anything I say will either.
So I came up with a choice.
Sunday, 6 January 2013
Resolutions
Resolutions.
The things wished to be done with strong determination may not be the things that can happen for anyone within a few months or a year. Some are empty and unachievable no matter the strong determination. The ones to be left alone, for more than a cook will spoil its broth.
I believe that the ones which are covered with doubt and seemingly impossible yet possible at the same time are arguably the best resolutions. The ones to be fought and strived for.
Effort. Effort it is.
But do these resolutions merely act as a coping mechanism? I don't know.
As for all subjects including EST except Chinese, with at least 9A+s. Continue pursuing photography and craft.
Improve spoken Japanese. Learn an extra language, Italian or French perhaps.
Be serious. Let go.
The things wished to be done with strong determination may not be the things that can happen for anyone within a few months or a year. Some are empty and unachievable no matter the strong determination. The ones to be left alone, for more than a cook will spoil its broth.
I believe that the ones which are covered with doubt and seemingly impossible yet possible at the same time are arguably the best resolutions. The ones to be fought and strived for.
Effort. Effort it is.
But do these resolutions merely act as a coping mechanism? I don't know.
As for all subjects including EST except Chinese, with at least 9A+s. Continue pursuing photography and craft.
Improve spoken Japanese. Learn an extra language, Italian or French perhaps.
Be serious. Let go.
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